you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
