glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
nutella sex= disaster
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
