you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
