did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
