You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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