nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
