yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
