Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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