In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
