3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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