There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
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He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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