Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
