is wine microwaveable?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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