you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
