dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
