Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
