I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
