I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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