Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Of course I have a pirate flag
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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