my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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