Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
