I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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