I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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