just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
