My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
