I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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