oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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