i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I party with great urgency now.
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