i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
