On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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