So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize