Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
