I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
