He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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