So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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