some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
