Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
