you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
