I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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