the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
