I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just found puke in my bra..
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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