Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
and she was petting her beer can
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
