I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
