She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
A+ Viking dick
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
