I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
