What a fucking waste of an outfit
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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