Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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