Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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