those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
