moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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