Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize