its not stalking. its research.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize