you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
