Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
