Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She announced her abortion via fbk
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
