I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
