I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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