Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
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Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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