I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
