garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
