Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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