Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
These tits shall not be calmed
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
