What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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