id be glad to
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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