my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
