I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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