Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
