I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
